The Art of Seduction

The Art of Seduction 
by Jennifer Good

Seduction is the art, and joy, of tempting your partner into a romantic, sensual liaison. It is less about the outcome of your liaison, and more about the game of seducing. When you begin a game of seduction you are inviting your partner to a completely sensual experience designed to heighten ALL of their senses. Your partner should be in a passive role, while you determine which sense to heighten and which zone to pleasure.

Typically, a successful seduction is longer than your average lovemaking session, and can even last over a few days or weeks. It's important to remember that coupling doesn't always have to happen. Think of it as an extended foreplay session. If days of sensual innuendoes and mood setters can't get your partner in the mood, nothing will!

Before beginning your seduction plan, you need to decide how long you want your seduction to last. Is there a special day coming up? Do you want to make some serious changes in your love play? If so, a week long seduction might be a better approach.

Once you've decided your time limit, you'll want to look at how you want to begin capturing your partner's sensual attention. There are numerous ways to go about this. The most important thing to remember about this stage is that you should NOT couple! This is about getting their interest and heightening their senses for when you actually do couple. Here are a few ideas to get you started:

* leave an erotic love note on their pillow
* e-mail a fantasy you wish to enact with them
* give a sensual massage using your favorite massage oils
* have a finger food picnic
* play a lover's game
* kiss longer and more frequently
* find more opportunities to touch your partner
* make eye contact more frequently
* watch a semi-erotic move such as Henry & June
* have an old fashion "necking" session

The Main Event

Now that you've put all this effort into getting your partner ready, it's time to move onto the main event. Again, it's important to remember that the longer you draw out the seduction, the better it will be.

There are various stages of arousal you enter into when engaging in love play. The shorter the experience, the lower the level of arousal you are able to access. The longer the experience, the higher the level of arousal you and your partner can enter into. Thus, if you can prolong the experience you will create a memory you will both treasure for quite a while.

To make the most of this factor, you'll need to have things in place that will heighten all of your partner's senses. We're talking about a full assault on their senses. When you're done with them you'll leave them wondering how sex could have ever been otherwise. Here are some ideas to get you started:

* Sense of Sight: Care and attention should be placed on the location. If in your bedroom, candles lit, silky bedding and lots of pillows are a must. Arouse this sense further with lingerie.
* Sense of Smell: Aromatics can work for you or against you. Make sure you know which scents your partner enjoys. Get scented candles, incense or scented massage oil to help heighten this sense.
* Sense of Taste: This can be incorporated in two ways. One is through food with aphrodisiac qualities such as strawberries or oysters. The other is through edible lotions, chocolate syrups or whip cream.
* Sense of Hearing: Get creative and record yourself telling an erotic story and leave it playing in the background. Or, play music that fits the overall mood you are going for. If you have sensual movies you may want to have the sound playing in the background.
* Sense of Touch: One of the most erotic senses of all is the sense of touch. You will already be using this sense just by engaging the seduction. To heighten it you need to make sure every time they feel something against their skin it has an extra sensation added to it. You can do this with silky bedding, silky lingerie, or even with a massage with your favorite oils. You may also want to try a feather, something furry or a rose when you touch them.

You can further heighten the senses by hindering one of them completely. A reduction causes the other senses to work more to make up for the loss. You can remove the sense of sight by using a blindfold. You can remove the sense of touch by using restraints. You need to make sure your partner would be comfortable with this type of love play before doing this though.

For an additional benefit, when you execute your main event, you may want to try something a little different. For example, a tryst with role-playing may let your partner become more open and result in new levels of arousal. Or, a prolonged temptation before letting them reach their peak will certainly get results.

Remember, this is your seduction. You can do whatever you KNOW will get your partner excited. The main point is to infuse some creative loving into your relationship. If you've lost a bit of that "new love attraction" this is an excellent way to get it back. Every few months, make sure you do something similar to this to keep the spark alive and create some fantastic memories to look back upon!


Massage How-To

Massage How-To

Beauty and love can be shown in many ways but none quite as personal and loving as a massage. Many times, a massage can lead to better communication and understanding with your partner. Other times, it's just the knowledge that someone is devoting their time to making you feel incredible that make's it extra special. Massage has been said to be a dance of love with your fingertips. Given correctly it can be one of the most intensly sensual moments you can share with your partner. And not surprisely, since the skin is the largest sensory organ in the body! For your next gift, why not give the gift of massage?

Massage Ingredients:
You Will Need:

*a willing recipient
*a quite place
*a warm place
*oil or lotion
*a towel
*a padded area
*gentle music

You'll need some type of oil or lotion. Fragrant oils are fine, but keep in mind your partner's sensitivity to smells or skin irritations. Also check to see if they are allergic to any kind of oil or lotion. If you'd rather not use the oils or lotions, try cornstarch. It truly works wonderfully. :)

Next, you'll need to decide on a location. Obviously not many have access to a massage table so you can create the next best thing!

A sturdy tabletop padded with foam or blankets works great. Otherwise, try a padded floor or, for the more adventurous, a large towel on the beach or secluded park. If you plan on doing the massage outside, take precautions against insects, excessive heat or coldness.

If staying inside is more appealing, then allow for no distractions! This means unplug the phone and arrange for no one else to be in the house, including children. Wherever you choose, make sure you have easy and comfortable access to both the right and left sides of your partner's body and that the temperature is warm. If need be, cover the areas of the body you're not working on with a light comfortable blanket, or use a portable heater.

You'll also need a towel or two to wipe your hands or your partner. A towel can also come in very handy in the case of a spill. :)

For your covering cloth, make sure to select something that is OK to be oiled. A sheet works perfectly.

The most enticing part of a massage can often be the atmosphere in which it is presented. If quality time is spent on setting the mood, you both will reap the rewards! Play some soft relaxing classical, jazz or "mood" music in the background. You can play anything without any harsh rythms or words. Candlelight, incense and flowers are wonderful mood setters as well. Try to make the setting evoke a feeling of sensuality and comfort. Take some time and make sure you have plenty of pillows and comfortable blankets. Consider it your temple of love.

Props are a wonderful addition to any massage. Anything that is soft to the touch, but not too light so as to tickle is wonderful. Feathers, a silk scarf, flowers, flannel strips, etc. work beautifully. If using a feather, make sure not to do it too lightly. :) If you decide to use props, keep them within easy reach.

Massage Tips:

Before starting, make sure your partner is comfortable and doesn't need anything. (i.e. they don't have to go to the restroom, aren't hungry, etc.)

To start, you might want to give them a simple back rub or a head massage (an often overlooked sensual area). This will get you and your partner into communication with each other as well as let your partner get used to your touch. Once you're both ready, have your partner lie down on their stomach. Stradle your partner's body (a leg on each side) and begin to let your fingers stroke lightly, starting from the neck down. Each stroke should begin from the spine and roll off the sides of your partner's body. Remember that continous movement is the key. Always try to keep even pressure between each hand.

When you place or remove your hands, use a glide on, glide off style of touching. Glide on in the direction your hands will be moving on or off the body. Maintain a continous flow while massaging. Make your movements blend together, each one enhancing the preceding one and preparing for the next. Your strokes should be fluid, never jerky. Always take your hands around or out of the body rather then stopping in mid-flow.

Keep the massage varied. Often change the tempo, rythm and pressure. While the point is to relax your partner, you don't want them to fall asleep! :)

If you're unsure of how much pressure to give, lighter is usually better. Although, it is best to go by what your partner prefers. Also, if there are two of something, massage them both equally (i.e. both legs, both arms, etc.).

Make sure your recipient is enjoying what you are doing. You can usually tell, but if you're not sure, ask them.

Be comfortable and confident with yourself and what you're doing. This is your gift to your partner - let that show. From here, let your heart be your guide and your instincts rule your fingers.


Verbal Foreplay

Verbal Foreplay
by Jennifer Good

Verbal Foreplay For most people the act of talking during sex is quite intimidating. Usually a person is afraid they'll say the wrong thing and kill the mood, or reveal a little too much about their desires. If you're willing to overcome this fear you will find that an aural addition can incredibly heighten the sensual stimulation you're both receiving. Many couples write in asking how can they add this enhancement to their current relationship. Here are a few pointers.

Be Sincere.
Nothing can kill the mood faster than scripted verse. Be honest about what you are saying and feeling. Your partner will definitely be able to notice if you're not.

Talk About What You Are Feeling.
This is an easy way to segue into verbal foreplay. If something feels good, tell your partner, and be specific about it. If you like it when they do something make sure to let them know.

Talk About What You Would Like.
Take to heart the old saying, "If you ask for it you just might get it." Tell your partner what you enjoy. (For example, "I like it when you..." or "Do it like...")

Tell A Fantasy.
Open up a bit and tell your partner one of your fantasies. This can be a great turn on especially if you're whispering into their ear while you're making love.

Act Out A Character Role.
Sometimes being yourself can be intimidating. One way to get around that is to act in character. There are many role-playingoptions such as doctor/nurse, slave/master, teacher/student, cop/robber, etc. You may find it easier to approach verbal arousal while in character.

Remember, if you're uncomfortable doing something, just don't do it. When you are ready, here are a few suggestions of phrases that other users would enjoy hearing from their partners.

* Their name
* I love you
* I love being inside of you
* If I could to choose how to die, I'd want this to be last thing I ever felt.
* You are fantastic, you drive me insane, and I cannot get enough of your love.
* You're beautiful.
* You feel wonderful.
* Oooh baby that feels so good!
* God you're incredible
* I am your slave!
* I wish every day could be like this.


Prolonging The Passion

Prolonging The Passion
by Jennifer Good

I would imagine just about everyone wants to find ways to increase their sexual ability. Trying different ways to prolong the passion is probably one of the most sought after improvements. Why settle for one session, when you can prolong the experience over several days? To help you in your quest, I've included a few encounters and ideas to help you and your partner create a longer and more satisfying sexual experience. Have fun!

The Karezza Method
For the ultimate prolonged lovemaking session take a few tips from the Karezza (Italian for caress) method. Make love slowly and gently without the end result being an orgasm. The idea is to relax and enjoy instead of suppressing an orgasm. The ultimate goal is to never actually orgasm, except when attempting to conceive a child. An intermediate step some have used is only letting one in three sexual encounters result in an orgasm.

The All Day Tease
The ultimate foreplay involves an entire day of tempting. Your day could consist of a slow, sensuous kiss here, an intimate caress there and before you know it you'll both be involved in a wanton sensual experience. You can also enhance your tease period by sending erotic love letters, sexy voice mail, leaving descriptive pictures or sending a sexy invitation for an encounter later that night.

Fantasy Weekend
Do something indulgent! Unplug the phones, tell your friends and family you'll be away for the weekend, send the kids to sitter if needed, and spend the entire weekend indulging in your every sensual fantasy together.

Lover's Hint: A fantasy weekend could also be a perfect opportunity to live out a few sexual fantasies you both may have wanted to try!

Winner Takes All!
You have the time arranged, but you're still not sure how to spend the evening. The solution for this scenario calls for a hot, romantic board game. My personal favorites include SexPlay and Fan The Flames. With each game you compete to have your sensual fantasy acted upon. Although, you'll be having so much fun you may never really know who the winner was!

It's A New World Record
One way to extend your sensual encounters is to see how many times or different places you can engage in lovemaking during a certain period of time. You could try to see how many times in one day, or how many different positions you tried, etc. Keep a log, and when you break a new record, plan a private celebration!


Striptease 101

Striptease 101
by Brettani Shannon

Striptease 101Give your man a special treat he'll never forget - a surprise striptease! It's the perfect unexpected treat, and is something he's sure to remember better than any box of candy or stuffed animal. And don't worry...any woman can give a great striptease, even if your body isn't "perfect" or you're naturally shy. The following tips will help make certain that your sexy surprise will be an enormous success!

First let's address what to wear...

* Choose clothing that accentuates your most beautiful body parts. This is one time that it’s appropriate to show a lot of skin. Anything from elegant gowns, baby-dolls, sexy lingerie, cute two-piece sets, or little dresses are great to wear.

* Whatever you wear, make sure it can be removed easily. Don’t wear a corset that you have to unbutton, or a tight dress that’s difficult to slip out off. Avoid anything too complicated that you will have to fidget with to get off. Clothing that zips in back or fitted clothing that doesn’t stretch can also be difficult to remove.

* Make sure that your panties frame your cheeks and show off your shape. We all wear those comfy panties that no one else should see, but for the purpose of seducing your man, the guidelines are: the top of the back of your panties should reach no more than two inches above your cheeks. Any higher than that and they give the illusion that your caboose is a lot longer than it is. Try on booty shorts, full bottomed panties, thongs, and g-strings to see which you feel best in. Also, if they leave lines on your body after you take them off, they are too tight.

* The choice to wear shoes or not is a personal preference, as both looks are sexy. If you do choose to wear shoes, choose them wisely. Stilettos are the perfect choice if you can handle them, as the high heel makes your legs look much longer. If moving gracefully in stilettos is too daunting, dancing with bare feet can also be very seductive. You should stay away from short, one-inch heels. They look great with pants and skirts, but give the illusion of shortening naked legs. Shoes that are too high will also inhibit your movement and may make you fall, so choose shoes that you feel confident wearing. Strapless shoes can be removed gracefully, but if yours need to be buckled, you'll probably want to remove your clothing without taking off your shoes. Almost anything stretchy can be taken off over your shoes, but it would be a good idea to practice first.

* Stockings are a sexy addition to almost any outfit. They can be knee high or thigh high, worn with or without garters. Whichever you choose, make sure to get a large enough size. It can help to get a size too large so that they don't constrict your legs and cause unsightly bulges while you're moving. A tip: it can be really sexy to leave your stockings and garter belt on for a while after your dance. If you'd like to do this, wear a thong or g-string on the outside so that they can be removed without having to unhook your garters.

The seductive addition of props...

* Use a rose or a large feather to entice and tease him. During your dance, take the feather and gently tickle him from his cheek and neck down his shoulder to his fingertips without letting him touch you back. Sit on a chair and while holding your frame tall, slide your feet apart enough to tease him, and gently dust yourself from neck to thigh with the feather.

* Even though the goal is to take off your clothes, covering up is still very sexy. Use a nice shawl, wrap, or piece of sheer fabric, to tease him. Wrap it around yourself while giving him peeks. Use it during your dance or when you get up close and personal. This can also double as a great cover up if you feel more comfortable being a little less exposed.

* If you want to try using a retractable pole, you can also purchase a how-to video for tricks, but the best part of using a pole is that it is a fun addition to your ambiance.

* Whipped cream, chocolate sauce, or any other "dessert on you" accessories are great if you want to let him be more than a spectator. Use these sweets as a segue into the interactive portion of your show.

Setting the stage for ambiance...

* After you choose the songs you want, make a mix CD or playlist and pay attention to the order of the songs so that you can choreograph your routine and not have to change songs in the middle.

* Use low, indirect lighting because it is both flattering (making you more comfortable) and more intimate. Achieve the perfect lighting by mixing candles with lamps and colored bulbs.

* If your room is lacking intimacy, dress it up by draping deep colored valances or adding velvet or satin throws and pillows to your furniture.

Get comfortable with these dancing tips...

* Practice in the mirror, or better yet, videotape yourself dancing so that you can look at yourself and see which moves you like.

* Use low, indirect lighting because it is both flattering (making you more comfortable) and more intimate. Achieve the perfect lighting by mixing candles with lamps and colored bulbs.

* Dance on your feet and on the floor. On the floor, try opening and closing your legs or leaning your knees from one side to the other. Experiment with different angles. Try caressing yourself when you don't know what else to do.

* Move in time to the music. Turn around and walk seductively.

* Some moves always look good. One is lying on your back with your knees bent, another is arching your back and the last is bending over from the waist, a little or a lot, with your backside towards your partner. You can also try this from the side angle or while leaning on a chair or against a wall.

* In any standing poses, give yourself a little spank and wink at your guy. It's naughty, but cute.

* Try sliding down a wall and then back up. Slide your hands along the wall beside you or let them go to your thighs, both very sexy.

* Use your hair. Men love women's hair. While standing up, kneeling, or sitting, stretch your torso while you pull your hair up and let it fall again. If you have really long hair, arch your back while standing and tilt your head back letting your hair swish your backside.

* Skim your fingertips over any part of you and he'll be begging for more. Try caressing your breasts the way you like him to do. It will blow his mind.

* Smile at him; use your lips and your eyes to seduce him. Blow kisses, wink, and give him those bedroom eyes. Don't be afraid to laugh, talk, or even growl if you feel like it. Even if you don't feel confident, the more confidence you can portray the more erotic it will feel for him.

* Point your toes whenever your foot is not on the floor. It is more feminine and graceful than a flexed foot.

Extra stripping tips...

* Removing your clothes gracefully can be a challenge. Avoid taking your top off like a man takes off his t-shirt. While it may be sexy to watch them do it, it is quite the opposite for a woman. If you chose something that needs to be removed by slipping it over your head, seductively slip it off by pulling it from the bottom on the sides while standing up tall; don't hunch over.

* When taking your bottoms off, try slipping them off over your shoes or bare feet while standing straight-legged. Do this by bending over from the waist and guiding them off all the way to the floor and then stepping out of them. If this isn't easy for you, try bending your knees or taking your bottoms off while lying on your back.

* It is not imperative to remove all of your clothing. Stripping down to a little something sexy is equally as alluring. Remember to do as much as you are comfortable with. It should be a fun and exciting experience for both of you.

Lap Dance 101...
The point is of a lap dance is to tease him, but still making it more interactive by letting him get in a little snuggling, touching, and kissing in.

* You can sit next to him and then lean over him with your chest touching his, turn toward the ceiling and caress yourself a little, or turn facedown with your shoulder and side rubbing across his tummy and chest.

* Position yourself on top of him, sitting on your knees on his thighs. This allows you to rise up and down. When rising up, let his nose graze your chest and tummy. You can give him a little squeeze with your breasts as well. When you come down, bring your legs together and slide down to the floor.

* "Dancing" close to him like this is great fully clothed, partially clothes, in the nude, or partially covered with a wrap. Move your body in time to the music. Simulate what you might do in the bedroom once in a while to really heat things up.

* Turn around and sit in his lap. Pull up your hair and let yourself lean back to where your shoulders and neck are close to his face. Get creative, caressing yourself and him.

* Stroke his hair, the back of his neck, and his chest. Kiss him and let him kiss you.

The most important thing to remember is to be yourself. Having fun being sexy for him is more arousing than any of the particular moves or tricks. Pick and choose the tips from this guide that help you to feel confident and go for it! Your Valentine striptease will be a gift he'll never forget, and one he'll hope to get every year after.


In Search of the G-spot

In Search of the G-spot
by Brettani Shannon

In Search of the G-spotMen want to make women squeal with anticipation and scream with ecstasy. They want to be king of the “O.” Women go to great lengths searching out methods for achieving orgasm, aching to unleash their inner sex goddess. This conquest has led people in many directions, but the most sought-after is the infamous G-spot, said to be the deepest, most intense orgasm possible. Unfortunately, the G-spot orgasm seems like an unattainable pot of gold at the end of the rainbow for many. Want to know if it’s really possible? Want to know what to do with it? There is a lot of hype about the G-spot, but there aren't many real answers. Below, we set the record straight.

Let’s start with a few frequently asked questions:

Is it real?
It is real according to many women and experts. There is debate among scientists about the existence of such a spot, but sex therapists all around the world support the scientific claim that it is a reality. Most agree that it is a general area, varying in placement, size, sensitivity and appeal.

Does every woman have one?
This is a very debated subject. Ask women, and you will hear that some believe they do and some don’t. Most experts concur that because of the varying sensitivity and appeal, women react differently to stimulation, giving the false impression that it only exists in some women. Some researchers believe that the G-spot’s sensitivity is due to Skene’s (or paraurethral glands) in the area. The number of glands varies in women, so according to this theory, the size and level of sensitivity of the area most likely also varies greatly. Other professionals disagree and say that glands play only a small part of the sexual reactions. Some claim that the particular nerve endings surrounding the glands produce an orgasm different than the one produced by clitoral stimulation. The same tissue that makes up the clitoris also holds the paraurethral glands and that when aroused, that area swells and increases in sensitivity.

Where is it? Is it in the same place on every woman?
It’s on the front wall of the vagina. Depending on the woman, it could be anywhere from one centimeter up to one-third of the way up the vagina. It surrounds the urethra, also called the urethral sponge. You should be able to find it yourself by reaching your fingers inside your vagina. It feels rough, unlike the smooth rest of the vaginal wall and after you stroke it for a bit, it should make you feel like you need to tinkle. The urge to pee comes from pressure on the sponge. It causes the same sensation as when a full bladder puts pressure on it.

LYC’s Advice:

Figure things out for yourself first
Number one tip: Please remember that not everyone likes that area of their vagina to be stimulated. In fact, some women find it irritating instead of arousing. This may sound odd because of the buzz about the infamous G-spot, but it is true. Pressuring yourself about it is a really bad idea, as stress is a huge inhibitor to sexual pleasure. Don’t fake it for your partner. If you are the partner, do not worry about it. If she invites you to explore with her, then follow her lead. Don’t feel bad if you don’t find it or she doesn’t like it. That does not reflect on either of you as a lover.

I would suggest trying it yourself a few times before getting your partner to try it. Before sex or self-stimulation, try emptying your bladder so that you feel more confident in letting inhibitions go. Use your fingers to find the rough area and then firmly stroke it up and down in a “come hither” motion. You could also try using a curved toy to reach it. If you don’t like it at all, then be alright with leaving it alone. It’s not the only way to orgasm, so don’t feel bad. If it feels good, continue. Press on through the “I’ve got to pee” stage until orgasm is reached. Some suggest that pushing out with your vaginal muscles when you feel like the big “O” is near can help you to get there. This may cause you to excrete a sexual fluid referred to as female ejaculation (more about that below).

Stimulating the G-spot can feel great even if you don’t orgasm from it. Many women say that they have to “let go” when they have the urge to urinate during stimulation, and that can be difficult to do. Allow yourself to enjoy it without feeling like you have to orgasm from it. You may orgasm from clitoral stimulation in the attempt. As you experiment more, you may find your own way of “letting go.”

Spend some time getting used to how it feels so that when you are with your lover, you can recognize the feeling as you experiment with different sexual positions. Try different types of stroking motions and pressure. Use your fingers or a toy in a motion like you are trying to scratch an itch on your G-spot. Continue with this motion without taking your finger or the toy all the way out of your vagina. Then try circular motions and go back and forth.

There is a lot of literature that has women with very high sex drives who are easily stimulated discussing the G-spot, but don’t confuse that with the majority. A more accurate representation of females as a whole would tell you that their likes and dislikes very greatly. For example, some women can’t stand for the clitoris to be directly excited during oral sex, and others can’t wait for it.

The best ways to stimulate the G-spot are:
With fingers in a “come hither” movement. As an addition to oral sex and/or anal play, this method can produce and intense reaction.

Sex toys, especially those designed for G-spot stimulation with a curved tip, can be used alone or with your lover. Also, try coupling sex toys with oral sex. Many women say that vibrators are the best way to excite your G-spot.

Many women say that it is much easier to stimulate their G-spot once they are already very turned on (clitoral stimulation), so have a lot of foreplay before going for it.

Positioning yourself with your hips thrust forward can help you get there. So, if you are on your back, pull your knees toward your chest and put a pillow under your hips.

During intercourse, try it in missionary position with your man high up on you. This will cause the base of his penis to stimulate both the clitoris and the G-spot! A variation would be with him standing up and you on a counter that positions him slightly above your point of entry.

Another position that works well is rear entry, or “doggy style” because the angle allows his penis to put pressure on the anterior wall where the G-spot is. Experiment with your legs being together, a little bit apart, or spread wide. Also see what it’s like to bend far forward or stretch up, lying on your tummy, or sittin back onto his lap.

When you’re on top, try sliding yourself forward and back, without bouncing up and down. This action can stimulate both your clitoris and your G-spot. Also try leaning back, bracing yourself with your hands on his legs or the bed so that you can move up and down. Your lover can help bring you to orgasm by using his fingers to play with your clitoris, holding onto your hips, or pushing himself up toward you.

Other tips:
Remember that as a woman, you probably need to be mentally and emotionally stimulated as well as physically stimulated for sex to be fantastic. Whether by yourself or with your lover, setting the scene so you aren’t distracted will help you fully experience the ecstasy. Explain this to your partner so that they can help facilitate a great experience for you.

Talk with your partner about this subject before you go for it. You could even read this article over again with your partner. It can help you both to have reasonable expectations and also help you to get in sync with each other.

Open up communication during sexual encounters. Especially because it is difficult for most women to “let go,” it can be extremely helpful to have a word of encouragement from your lover when you feel like holding back.

Make sure your partner’s fingernails are clipped and clean if you can. Because the G-spot is generally something you want to massage with more force than other areas, you’ll want to take precaution against scratching.

Coupled with oral sex, milking a man’s prostate (using the same method as G-spot stimulation – come hither motion of the finger, etc.) produces an orgasm much like the one reached by G-spot stimulation. In fact, some experts say that the Skene’s glands are actually the female prostate. So, if you dare…try two new things together!

Remember that stimulating your G-spot is most likely to get you off if there has been plenty of foreplay (kissing and touching of the lips, breasts, other erogenous zones, etc.). The increased blood flow to your genital area as you get turned on makes all parts of you more sensitive.

Sometimes the G-spot area (and other areas) can be too sensitive to enjoy. If you think this might be the case, try asking your partner to stimulate other parts of your body at the same time, distracting your attention. For example: use toys like dildos and vibrators to play with your clitoris or anus while attempting to arouse the G-spot. Suggest he massage your breasts, kiss your inner thighs, or grab onto your things and buttocks. He could caress your tummy, rib cage, back, shoulders, etc. Even some gentle scratching can help distract you from the intensity of overstimulation. There are also desensitizing gels that may be worth trying out.

Research shows that stimulation of the G-spot greatly increases one’s pain threshold. The outcome is that a little rough love may feel great if the G-spot is being stimulated. Some experts think that the G-spot is responsible for easing some pain during childbirth.

Some people claim that getting deep tissue or trigger point massages release tension in the body and mind that can inhibit sexual pleasure -- in particular, G-spot orgasms and female ejaculation.

About female ejaculation:
Some women (10% - 50%) ejaculate when they experience an orgasm via G-spot stimulation. It happens because the Skene’s glands (number varying in women) are “milked” when you stimulate the G-spot (evidence to support the theory that, at least for some women, the glands are the reason for the pleasure spot). Another explanation for the small number of women who ejaculate is that women are sexually aroused in such a variety of ways that only a small portion of them stimulate the glandular area that induces it. But the most likely reason is that very few women are able to “let go” when it’s “O” time.

There is a lot of discussion about this subject using the word “squirting” in forums. Women and men share a variety of views: loving it, trying to do it, and even wanting nothing to do with it. Most suggest experimenting by yourself first (your inhibitions are likely to be lower), to avoid embarrassment of the unknown, and to relieve any concern about it being urine. If you aren’t sure, use a white towel or tissue to catch the fluid so you can examine it. Sometimes it shoots out; sometimes it dribbles or runs out of women. It can range from a couple of drops to a couple of cups of liquid.

The fluid is released from the glands surrounding urethra opening. The actual composition seems to be a small amount of a chemically altered form of urine mixed with the glandular fluid, which is very similar to the liquid released when a man’s prostate is “milked.” It is clear or milky, not yellow. It doesn’t smell like urine, nor does it stain like urine. It is possible, although very unlikely, for women to urinate during intercourse especially if the muscles weakened from childbirth haven’t been restored back to their normal elasticity and strength. Those muscles can be repaired by doing Kegal exercises.

LYC’s conclusion:
Women are blessed with the ability to orgasm from many different arousing techniques. It seems only natural that we would enjoy some methods more than others. Embrace your own individuality and sexual identity. Make a conscious effort not to compare yourself with others so much that you see a problem with yourself. Many women dwell on trying to figure the G-spot out, and it takes a toll on their sex lives. You can’t let yourself become burdened with the pressure of finding it, achieving orgasms, or ejaculation. Whether you do or you don’t, you are not alone. Of course, if you are really concerned about yourself, talk to a professional. Unless it’s a health issue, sex therapists are probably better qualified than doctors to assist people with achieving their sexual goals.

Making love should be both comfortable and exciting. It should be an adventure and a connection between lovers. Stepping outside of your box to experiment is a great way to gain confidence in your sexuality and keep things hot in the bedroom. There are a lot of things to try. Search online ( has a lot of suggestions), read up on the subject, talk to friends, and talk to your lover. Bedroom helpers consist of pillow talk, Kama Sutra, romantic ambiance, oral sex techniques, better sex aid products, and more! Experimenting with the G-spot is just one of the many ways your lovemaking can be enhanced.

For the men: We understand the physiological effects of pleasing your lover as valuable elements to your sexual experience, but please do not obsess over G-spot orgasms or female ejaculation. Instead, rate yourself on how happy you both are with your sex life and remember that she needs to be mentally and emotionally stimulated just as much as she needs to be physically aroused.


Sexy Phone Calls

Sexy Phone Calls
by Brettani Shannon

This is a continuation of the topic "Loving Your Man His Way." This time we're going to look at another way to do just that...using a telephone.

If you are in a long distance relationship or find yourself away from your lover for any amount of time, you have the opportunity to have a sensual encounter over the phone! Surprise your lover with a bit of sexy flirting and leave thoughts of you fresh in his mind, or go a little further and really excite him. In this article, I won't be telling you how to have phone sex like they do in the movies. In fact, I don't even know how to do that. Instead, I'll be inspiring you to use your own personality and sexuality to excite your man over the phone when you are apart.

Adding a bit of sensuality to your phone conversations allows your man freedom of imagination. You will be in the lead, but you must keep your focus on loving him in his language: sex.

The Softer Side - Phone Flirting

By far the easiest, sweetest way to consistently excite your man is flirting with him. When he calls you and asks you what you are doing, give him a little white lie. In a sexy voice, tell him you're doing the dishes naked. Tell him you are getting dressed for the day and you decided to wear that little black negligee he loves to see you in. Of course, he won't believe you, but he'll be left imagining the picture you painted for him with your words. Got a camera phone? Take a photo of his favorite part of your body and send it to him during his 10 o'clock meeting (just make sure it's not the meeting to discuss his promotion).

Diving A Little Deeper

Make some plans or suggest a future encounter. For example, tell him that the night he gets home, you are going to have the kids at their grandparents' so that the two of you can "catch up." Use your voice to make sure that he knows exactly what kind of "catching up" you plan on doing. Tell him that you bought a new piece of lingerie you can't wait for him to see it. Leave the rest to his imagination, or add a bit more detail to make sure he knows what he's missing.

Go For It

Call him to let him know you're thinking of him and the way he touches you. Tell him how much you wish you were rolling around in the sheets together. Tell him that you can't wait for the next opportunity to feel him on top of you. Reminisce about your last go 'round or about the last time he did that thing you love. Voice your desires to him in detailed descriptions. Don't direct his actions or ask him questions about what he is "doing." Just talk to him, asking for nothing in return, allowing him freedom to do whatever he wants. It may turn out that sometimes, he gets excited, but doesn't act on it. Other times, you may get a clue at some point that he has been. Either way, the goal is still achieved. He's got you on his mind. You are hot for each other and you're both anticipating for your next sensual encounter.

As for you, don't pressure yourself to take action either. Do whatever comes naturally. This is about your man, but if you take it further, I'm sure he won't mind. Let it be an experience that develops naturally. Don't force participation on him or on yourself. Neither of you should expect the other to perform or inform the other about what they did or didn't do. Reaffirm with him as needed. Try to enter into a phone sexapade with only one expectation: making your guy ache for the next chance he gets to touch you.

Commonly asked questions:

How do I get over being nervous?
Be realistic. What is the worst that could happen? You decide to go for it and have some serious phone sex, but you laugh in the middle of talking dirty and can't go on? Your man is still going to be dreaming of you, and he'll think you’re great and adorable for making the attempt. Even better, he will be counting down the hours until he gets to come home to you.

When is a good time to have phone sex?
Sexy phone talk is not just for couples in long distance relationships. If you find yourself away from your love for a weekend, one night, or even just an afternoon, you can whisper words to your guy that will make him ache for your touch. Any time your lover and you are separated is an opportunity, but it is important to make sure he is alone and in an appropriate place to chat if you think your conversation might get lengthy. If he's fishing with the kids or hanging with his buddies, you could both end up feeling pretty embarrassed over the bad timing. If you get interrupted, play it cool. Don't panic. Tell him in your sweetest sexy voice that you'll have to talk later because something came up. That way, he will still be left pining for you.

What do men want to hear?
The same thing you do. They want to hear that you desire them and that you want them to long for you as well. They want to know that they can please you and that you want to please them. However, just stating that doesn't do the trick. Be creative and detailed. When you are describing the sexual encounter you hope to have with him the next time you're together, tell him everything. Think back to the last time he ran his fingers up your thigh, pulled your hair, kissed your tummy, or whatever you enjoy him doing and paint the picture as best you can. Rehearsing your descriptions in your head could be helpful, but spontaneous creation of a fantasy is the way to go. Most men want you to be graphic without being vulgar. Just be their sexy, sweet fantasy girl.

Are all guys into this?
Make no mistake about it - they all are. There is some level of erotic banter that works for every woman and every man. You get to set the tone to your comfort level and trust me, he will be thrilled with whatever you choose. If you still have doubts about his enthusiasm, try giving him a little at a time. Start with the lighter tips and leave them at that. After your concerns are alleviated, consider leading him into a phone sexapade.

Remember that sexy phone conversations are just one of the many ways that you can show your man love his way.


Steamy Showers Your Man Will Love

Steamy Showers Your Man Will Love
by Brettani Shannon

This is a continuation of the topic "Loving Your Man His Way." This time we're going to look at another way to do just the shower.

While a woman's heart will melt at the sight of a rose petal bath with champagne and soft music playing, the only exciting part of that scene from a man's perspective is the two of you naked and the high probability of getting some action. Lies! With that in mind, read on for tips on how to make your man weak in the knees with a steamy shower scene.

The most important thing to remember is to try not to plan the scene too much. Guys want fun, wild, sexy encounters without scheduled events and expectations. It doesn't hurt to think ahead about what sexy things you could do with your lover in the shower, but that should be the extent of it. Throw caution to the wind and you will blow his mind! In fact, at least once in your life, allow yourself to be as animalistic as possible (freeing him to let out his inner animal as well).

* Slip into his shower unexpectedly with one thing on your mind.
* Pull him into your shower with you, clothes and all.
* Invite him to take a shower with you and surprise him with a sensual shower toy.
* Take your time lathering up your lover from head to toe, teasing and tormenting him before letting him ravish you (FYI: Soap does not make a good lubricant).
* Slip an invitation for a sexy shower scene into his lunch so that he spends his day in anticipation. Just remember, that is as romantic as it gets. Let your inner lioness out when the time comes.
* Take some photos of you in the shower and give them to him as a "preview."
* Take a very sexy shower alone and video tape it for your lover's enjoyment!

"I bought my boyfriend a previously viewed movie and gave it to him as a birthday gift for us to watch. We sat down with some popcorn in the living room to watch it. To his surprise, about five minutes into the movie, I had recorded over the movie with footage of me in the shower "thinking of him" set to some pretty sexy music. He loved it!"
--submitted by Kelli

Stepping outside the box for your lover in super sexy ways is sure to pay off in more ways than one. Imagine what it will be like when you're going his way and he's coming yours. You will meet in the middle, but not through compromise, through overflowing, contagious, generous loving.


Loving Your Man His Way

Loving Your Man His Way
by Brettani Shannon

In this introduction to the inner workings of your man's heart, you will find out a little more about how your guy thinks and feels in regards to romance and intimacy. The series of articles that follow this one will tell you many ways in which you can start loving your man his way.

As much as we all wish it wasn't so, men and women have very different ideas when it comes to love and romance. When couples aren't feeling the love, their differences can seem like glaring flaws, but when both sides feel loved, their differences are recognized as assets. Some men have learned that happy wives make happy marriages and that the key to making their wives happy is responsibility and romance. They may not always get the romance part of that equation perfect (and more often than not, men go along with what women think is romantic because they believe it increases their chances of a sexual encounter), but men try their best because they desire closeness with their women. It is well worth a man's effort to romance a woman, and it is time for women to learn the same lesson about pleasing their husbands. The more sexually intimate a couple is, the closer and happier they will be.

If you want to show your man how much you love him, the best thing you can do is bed him well and often…guaranteed. If you compare romance for ladies with sex for men, you will understand that men need more than just a date night once a month, although those are great. Sex should be on a regular basis, but not a scheduled one. Spontaneity is just as important sexually speaking as it is in regards to romance. One way to give him some unplanned loving might be surprising him by being naked or dressed in something sexy when he least expects it. Another might be to jump on him the minute he walks in the door from work. Wake your man up before the alarm clock for some early morning loving, or call him to bed in the middle of the day. You get the idea.

Little things throughout the day like a sincere compliment, a love note left on the pillow, or foot massage after work mean a lot to a woman. Likewise, a seductive kiss, a quick caress, or a little visual treat will keep a man feeling loved all day. Keeping this momentum going will help affection to flow freely in your relationship, making both of you very happy.

Variety is key. No one's fantasies are made up of the same sex in the same bed every Tuesday and every other Saturday. Come onto him in the car, pull him to you in the laundry room, take him to a hotel, or make love to him in the pool. Check out a Kama Sutra book and discover a new position. Purchase a sexy new piece of lingerie. Voice your sexual fantasies to each other and then try to fulfill a few. If you don't remember yours, try journaling a bit on the subject. If you have difficulty starting this dialogue, try using some of the exercises and love quizzes on to help open up your communication.

Encourage your man's masculine inclinations. Sometimes, men just want to have their wildest, freakiest dreams come true. In the heat of the moment, whisper in his ear that if he wants to grab a hold of your hair or give you a little spank, he is welcome to do so (only if he truly is, of course). Boost his masculinity a bit by jumping into his arms, forcing him to catch you. Then, give him a great big kiss. Encourage him to hold you like that other times as well.

Tell your man what you like. Do it for your own sexual satisfaction, but also to please him. Men truly want to please their ladies. It makes them feel good about being a man. That increase in their self-esteem is healthy for them and will make them even more attractive to you. Your relationship is a dance, where it is important for both lovers to give and take, play their part, and work at honing their skills. Ask anyone who has tried giving first and receiving second and they will tell you that the effort is more than worth it.

Lastly, remember that men do love to see their ladies doing girlie things, too. They occasionally enjoy romantic walks in the park and expensive champagne. They get great satisfaction out of making their women happy all of the time. But your guy will be thrilled to experience the freedom to be a guys' guy in your presence. Trade the bubbly in for beer, put the rose petals aside, and rock his world.


Oral Sex 101: A Basic Primer

Oral Sex 101: A Basic Primer
by Jennifer Good

One of the most passionate and loving things you can do for your partner is give them oral gratification. The act of using your partner's most vulnerable areas to unleash waves of pleasure from your tongue can be a quite unforgettable experience, and can take your sexual relationship to new heights.

The following guide is made as a basic primer to giving great head, however, if you are more experienced give it a quick read anyway. There quite a few tips and tidbits anyone can use at any level.

The Golden Rules

There are two golden rules when it comes to giving your partner oral pleasure. Whenever you feel the desire to please your partner this way, always keep these rules in mind. They are quite simple, yet if avoided will result in a less than pleasurable experience for both parties involved.

The first and most important rule to remember is to avoid using your teeth. On a female, you could probably get away with a little light nibble depending on how aroused they are, however, many women are just as sensitive to teeth as males are. To be on the safe side, the rule of thumb here still teeth.

The second and almost equally important rule is your attitude. This may sound cliche, but the more excited you are about doing it, the more pleasure your partner is going to receive, even if your techniques are not all that polished. The sight of you being completely aroused while trying to arouse them gives your partner a sense of freedom to truly enjoy every little nuance of the experience.

The Extra Touches

When going down, there are a few things you can do to avoid monotony and make it more enjoyable for both you and your partner. These aren't specific techniques, but rather good habits to learn when it comes to oral sex.

Make Eye Contact

This keeps the exchange intimate and personal and ladies, it drives your man crazy!! Really, try it and you'll see what I mean. Nothing else in your sexual exchanges will create the kind of sexy and personal atmosphere that you'll get from eye contact.

Keep Them Lubed

You'd think with all that tongue action the area would be perfectly lubed. However, that isn't always the case. When it comes to going down on your man, you'll need to use your mouth and your hands to help spread things around to keep everything nice and slick. Men, when you're pleasing your woman, make sure she's wet before probing around too harshly with your fingers. While not taking the time to make sure they are lubed probably isn't going to make them tell you to get off of them, they'll certainly appreciate it if you take the time to make sure they're ready. Let's face it, if you're going to do it, take the few extra minutes to make sure you're doing it the best that you can.

Go Deep

When you're giving oral sex to your man, keep the repetitious feeling at bay by changing things up a bit. Every so often, give him a few rounds of deep throating action. If you have a gag reflex, don't worry, it's usually caused by self-pressure. Just relax and do what you can for as long as you can. Work up to getting better. Trust me - he won't mind you practicing.


It is often said that good sex is created through good communication. I absolutely agree. Each person is completely unique and has different likes and dislikes. The only way to really know how to give your partner the ultimate experience is to talk to them about it.

Stay Clean

If you ask just about any person what's their number one turn-off about giving oral sex, more often than not you'll hear something relating to their partner's lack of cleanliness. Be respectful to your partner and practice good hygiene. Better yet, if you know you're going to be in for some sexual exploits, take a shower or a bath beforehand.

Keep It Neat

Ladies, this is mainly for you. While you don't need to shave completely, a little trimming goes a long way to encourage his desire. If you're not sure how he likes, turn the situation into something sensual and ask him to trim it for you.

Possible Taboos

I've already talked about the importance of communication. You'll need it here to find out what things are off-limits to your partner. Below are a few questions you should ask your partner about before actually doing:

* How do you feel about kissing after oral?
* What are your thoughts about having oral after sex?
* How far can my hands stray? Is the back side completely off-limits?
Is it something you'd be willing to try?
* What are your thoughts about using sex toys to enhance the experience?
* Is there anything you absolutely can't stand having done to you?


Your Erotic Makeover

Your Erotic Makeover
by Brettani Shannon

Your Skin

To do today:

Touchable skin, skin that is smooth and hydrated, is of the essence. To begin on your way to sensual feminine skin, start exfoliating. Products like Buff Puff exfoliating sponges are perfect for buffing dead skin off your face and body. They are cheap enough to replace often, which you want to make sure to do. People often make the mistake of leaving the same puff in the shower for months forgetting about bacteria that breeds in warm moist areas. Loufa type puffs, sponges and washcloths are also good for exfoliating, but won’t give you instant results. Don’t waste your time with products claiming to exfoliate with microbeads. You’ll get much more benefit from using a gentle cleanser on a puff.

Drink a gallon of water. The best thing you can do for your skin and body is drinking water. A gallon a day may seem like a lot now, but force yourself to do it and your body will get used to it in no time. Get a quart sized water bottle and drink four full bottles by the time you end dinner. Caffeine free, sugar free, water-based drinks like herbal teas count toward your water intake. Sport drinks like Gatorade do not. They are full of sodium in addition to all of the other processed junk that can actually dehydrate your body. The electrolytes in sport drinks are very hydrating, however, so while they should not be a replacement for water, adding some to your daily intake of water is just fine.

For the year:

If you struggle to get smooth skin, rethink the products you use. Dermatologists recommend Dove White and Neutrogena products often for bumpy skin – usually an indicator of sensitive and dry skin. Often times, people will use products for acne trying to clear up bumps, but that will only make dry, sensitive skin worse. Using calming and hydrating natural cleansers and moisturizers is the way to go. Also, toss out those heavily perfumed products; they are harmful for your skin.

Take baths with soothing oils like vitamin E and lavender essential oil. Add bath products with real cacao, goats’ milk, carrot, oatmeal or chamomile. Find a moisturizer for your face, another for your body, and a third for your feet, because your different body parts have different needs.

Your Hair

To do today:

A woman’s hair is her crown, yes? When your hair looks fabulous, you feel fabulous. It’s time to find the thing you can do in 10 minutes that will have you feeling beautiful every day. If you struggle with unruly hair, invest in a flat iron. The sleek and smooth look you get from using a flat iron will get you feeling sexier in minutes! Make sure your hair is bone dry, separate it into sections, begin at the nape of your neck and slip the iron from root to tip. For great permed or natural curls, pick up a curl definer product. For limp hair, use root lift and blow dry with a round brush, lifting your hair from the roots. For thick, dry hair, try a shine serum and a super hot curling iron or flat iron.

Look through a few hairstyle magazines and cut out looks you think are sexy, not sensible. Splurge on a wash and cut and/or color with a great hairstylist (don’t let yourself be tempted by chain store salons… not this time). When going for a dramatic change, you want to be able to trust that the stylist knows hair and has enough experience to know right away what will and what won’t work on your hair and with your face and lifestyle. Whatever you do, make sure your voice is heard in the salon and don’t leave until you are perfectly happy with the result.

Your hair down there:

Trim, shave and wax as needed to keep your bikini area jungle free. Go a bit further than you might have in the past with a Brazillian bikini line. Your lover’s enthusiasm will be your great reward. If you choose shaving over waxing, use a three bladed extra sharp razor. Hint: men’s razors have been much better than women’s for quite some time.

Your Makeup

To do today:

A little or a lot, make-up is meant to accentuate your natural beauty. If you aren’t accustomed to wearing make-up, start with lip gloss with a natural tint, a little bronzer or blush brushed over the apple of your cheek and light mascara. When you buy a mascara, get a make-up eraser along with it to fix any messy accidents.

Goals for the rest of the year:

Get some tips from an expert like the ones at the Mac counter in Nordstroms or Sephora. Learn how to achieve the right smoky eyes for your face. Try something new and fun like mineral foundation, red lipstick, liquid liner or false eyelashes!

Your Clothing

To do today:

Sleep in something sexy tonight. It could be his t-shirt and a pair of cute panties, a slinky nightgown, or your birthday suit!

Goals for the rest of the year:

Buy only clothing that makes you feel sexy. If it means you come out of the store with one smoking hot item rather than four mediocre pieces, so be it. Then, when you get home, throw out one item in your closet that doesn’t do it for you (you won’t regret it, I promise) for every new sexy piece of clothing you put in.

Each week, take an hour or two to plan outfits that make you feel sexy. Try them on in front of the mirror or take a digital photo of yourself to make sure you’ve got the look you’re going for. This process will eliminate the rushed morning dressing that keeps you looking sleepy all day.

Revamp your lingerie collection. How you feel in your underclothes plays a big part in how sensual you feel. Make sure your undies fit well. Make sure they don’t cut into your sides causing a muffin top shape. Also, be sure that they aren’t cutting into your cheeks causing unwanted ripples and bumps. Taking a trip to a lingerie shop and letting a salesperson help you find which styles work for your body type is a good start. Don’t let shyness get in your way. It’s worth one afternoon of anxiety to get the best lingerie you’ve ever had. Choose nighttime wear as well as underclothing. Try on sexy robes, nighties, gowns, teddies, babydolls and fantasy wear. The feel of sensual fabrics on your skin and seeing your bewitching reflection will jolt you into seduction mode, not to mention the effect it will have on your lover.

Your Mind

To do today:

Read a bit of erotic literature! has plenty of ready submitted stories and poetry, or you could pick up a romance novel. After reading some of this sexy stuff, you won’t be able to help the sensual thoughts that pop into your head throughout the day, doing wonders for your sex drive.

Goals for the rest of the year:

Take time outs for yourself to do a little relaxation and reflection. Try meditation, journaling, baths, etc. Get enough sleep. Lack of energy and stress are the two things that always seem to get in the way of feeling sexy, so make them your biggest priority. Explore your fantasies, let your partner in on what you’d like to experience, and take action in making them a reality.

Your Surroundings

To do today:

Now that you’ve given yourself an erotic make-over, it’s time to focus on your love nest. Light some candles and put on some music. Take a bubble bath and have glass of wine. Shed off the day’s stress and awaken the part of you that reminds you of your sensual side.

Goals for the rest of the year:

Take a look around your bedroom and give it a sensual make-over. Read the LYC articles on romancing your bedroom for some great ideas. A few quick tips are: romantic lighting, scented candles, nice bedding, sensual fabrics, music, eliminating the clutter, and investing in erotic accessories for the bedside table drawer.


The Truth About Sex and the Big "O"

The Truth About Sex and the Big "O"
by Brettani Shannon

In the world of sex, one topic seems to pop up quite frequently with women. "Why can't I reach an orgasm during intercourse?" Rumor has it that there are things you should and shouldn’t do to help you get there, but with all the mixed messages it can be very confusing. We've decided to get to the bottom of the issue once and for all. We took the most commonly asked questions and provided the answers to give you the final word on getting your big "O."

Are there certain positions that make it easier for women to get there?
Positions that facilitate clitoral stimulation during intercourse are very commonly the chosen positions for women. For this reason, the woman on top is probably the most common, but also because she is in control of the movement, pace, pressure, and position. There are many positions, however, that render friction on the clitoris or makes the area available for manual stimulation.

Does the size of a man’s penis determine whether or not he can make her orgasm?
Just as every man's size is different, what brings a woman to pleasure is also different. One reader said that of all the men she'd been with, the man with the smallest penis she'd ever encountered brought her to orgasm more easily than all the rest. In fact, she said that within the first five minutes, every time, she reached orgasm. To add to the one size doesn't fit all claim, many women swear it's the girth, not the length that does it for them. The moral of the story: each woman is different, as is what makes her orgasm. Take some time and experiment with different positions and finger play to see where you need your stimulation.

Does masturbating more often increase your ability to climax with your partner?
Jan Rossey, author of "How To Have An Orgasm During Sex or Masturbation, sheds light on this topic: “Self-pleasuring to orgasm - or masturbation - will make you more and more comfortable with orgasm and more and more comfortable with sexual experiences. The more orgasms you have, the more relaxed about sex you'll become, and you'll be able to share these experiences of sexual arousal and orgasm with a partner more easily.”

Can masturbating too much be the reason you cannot orgasm with your partner?
Masturbating to a fantasy, thinking of others, pornography, etc. can absolutely interfere with your ability to perform, let alone reach orgasm during sex with your partner because of the effects of it on one’s mind, not their bodies. However, the idea that masturbating too much causes desensitization or numbness of the clitoris, which in turn would prevent woman from achieving orgasm during sex is a myth. In fact, masturbation results in quite the opposite effect. It helps women explore their bodies and discover their own "sensitive" spots. Additionally, it provides greater self-esteem and confidence about their sex life, all of which will lead to a greater ability to reach orgasm.

Is it because you can’t get to your clitoris during intercourse?
Go Ask Alice, a health question and answer Internet resource produced at Columbia University, provides some clear insight, “In reality, the clitoris is perfectly placed. The challenge is for you and your partner to find and cultivate its potential. You might consider the clitoris to be 'inaccessible' because in-and-out intercourse does not touch your button of joy. Perhaps it is because the glans (the head of a clitoris) swells during high arousal and hides under the clitoral hood. Even though the glans — made up of 6,000 to 8,000 sensory nerve endings — is "in hiding," it is still a source of incredible pleasure for many women." The best way to compensate for this is to touch or press your "love button" directly or indirectly during intercourse. You can also use external stimuli in the form of adult toys to help achieve an orgasm.

Is stimulating your clitoris the only way a woman can orgasm?
Your main sex organ is actually your brain. What you're thinking about and what mood you're in can determine significantly the type of sexual experiences you have. If you have hang ups or stress about trying to achieve an orgasm through sexual intercourse alone, chances are you're going to run into trouble. However, if you just relax and enjoy the encounter and whatever it may bring, you increase your chances for things happening the way you desire naturally. Honestly, it comes down to how comfortable you are with sex and your partner and the level of excitement you're experiencing.

If I don’t climax during sex, does it mean I don’t have a g-spot?
Everyone has a g-spot. However, not everyone likes it to be touched. To some, the sensation of direct g-spot stimulation borders on irritating! While of course to others, it is amazing. There’s no harm in trying it out, but orgasms are not dependent on enjoying your g-spot.

If you are one of the many women who don’t orgasm during sex, can you still have a good sex life?
A good sex life will always be determined by the attitude each partner has towards their sexuality and the sexual relationship they cultivate between each other. If your partner is unwilling to help you achieve an orgasm outside of actual intercourse, yes, you may have a problem. But the problem isn't your ability to have a good sex life, it's your partner. Be honest with with your partner how your body works and have fun experimenting with different techniques to increase pleasure. One of the best "side effects" of not being able to orgasm through intercourse is that you get to enjoy sex merely for the sake of the pleasure it brings you. There's no focus on the end result. That can be very rewarding, possibly even more so than actually having an orgasm.

Is it normal to count on oral sex for my orgasms?
For some women, it is the only way they orgasm. For others, oral sex is something they would rather do with out. One of the greatest things about oral sex is that there is much room for experimentation. You and your partner both have free hands to utilize to the extent of your imagination. Simultaneous stimulation can make for some pretty powerful orgasms. If you aren’t sure how to introduce new ideas into your lovemaking, you can always leave this article up on your computer screen, leave a book with sexy ideas lying on his bedside table, or simply tell him. The majority of men get really turned on when a woman mentions trying something new or directs them in the bedroom, so don’t fear their reaction.

A man should always make sure his woman is satisfied before he’s done, right?
The truth is that many women hate the pressure of reaching orgasms. Many feel that if you do, great! If you don’t always, it’s ok. In fact, women complain that their men are so obsessed with getting them there, it takes away from the pleasure.
That’s how women end up faking it, and we don’t want to go there. Your man should be man enough to handle the truth about women and orgasms. What does ring true about this statement is that a man should be willing to satisfy his woman before rolling over to sleep. Nothing infuriates a woman more than her guy forgetting about her needs and desires. He should always be aware of how she is feeling and what she is hoping to get from the encounter. It may be that she wanted a bit of closeness and intimate connection, but it might be that she is in dire need of a great orgasm. To be great lovers, the two of you must know and pay attention to each other’s signals.


Becoming Tantric

Becoming Tantric
by Jennifer Good
How to use the practice of Tantric Sex in your everyday sex life.

Embarking on a new sexual experience can bring a level of intimacy and sensual satisfaction to a relationship that you never thought possible, especially when it involves learning the Hindu practice of Tantra. Tantra, a Sanskrit word meaning "woven together" is perhaps one of the oldest examples of sexual philosophy and spirituality to be taught and practiced today.

The practice of Tantric sex began in India over 1500 years ago as a method of Hindu yoga which worships the union of men and women. The teachings were specifically created to help practitioners increase their awareness of their own energy and the energy surrounding them in order to "feel more." The goal isn't necessarily about achieving an end result such as an orgasm, but rather increasing the stimulation of the entire sexual experience. The approach is to enhance your whole experience, not just one specific action or feeling.

The entire concept of Tantra is very different from the western viewpoint of sex. Tantric sex practitioners focus on prolonging their sensations and experiences, not on getting to the orgasm as quickly as possible. With the absence of an "end goal," the rush or sense of needing to finish in order to be fulfilled no longer exists. Additionally, foreplay is not a Tantric concept, because the entire purpose is to elicit pleasure for longer periods of time. Unlike your typical sexual experience, if you don't "finish," it isn't the end of the world. This approach gives couples a new freedom to explore their bodies and their awareness of themselves and each other in an entirely new way. It turns our western way of thinking, "I need to make sure I got mine," into, "How can I make this better and longer for both of us?" For many couples, this could be a very refreshing and exciting change in their way of thinking.

There are a few basic guidelines for engaging in a Tantric sex ritual. Most are common sense concepts and could be applied to any sensual encounter you and your partner wanted to try.

1. Bathe each other.
Don't just enjoy a romantic bubble bath together, actually take time to do actions that will relax your partner and show your praise of their body. The goal is to leave the world and your worries behind and focus only on the pleasure of yourself and partner.

2. Be nourished.
The purpose of Tantric sex is to prolong your sensual experience indefinitely. This means LONG lovemaking sessions where you're bound to work up an appetite. Make food play part of your experience and don't start any sessions hungry. Share in a glass of wine and feed each other often.

3. Create a space that feels beautiful and erotic.
Clean spaces allow you to focus your thoughts solely on your partner and your pleasure. Add mood setters to heighten your pleasure, such as scented candles, soft furry blankets or rugs, seductive music, etc.

4. Be comfortable in your attire.
Fabrics that feel great on your skin are a must. Starting off with soft, flowing lingerie or a silky robe heightens the experience as you shed layers later on. Also, consider any props whose texture may increase the pleasure you feel such as silk scarves, furry mittens and even feathers.

5. Begin your love play with a massage.
Grab your favorite scented oil and take turns indulging each other in an extensive erotic massage. Focus on relaxing your partner while keeping things sensual. Remember, the goal is to take your time and let the pleasure build.

There are many other Tantric principles not mentioned here, such as breathing and mental techniques to control and prolong your pleasure. If you are interested in learning more about this philosophy, visit the website for more information and ideas.


8 Impromptu Sexual Escapades That Will Drive Him Crazy

8 Impromptu Sexual Escapades That Will Drive Him Crazy
by Jennifer Good

Impromptu Sexual Escapades That Will Drive Him Crazy
Every man's secret desire is a woman whose main goal is to please him sexually. Not just in bed, but a woman who is bursting with life and spontaneity. With our busy lives of dealing with kids, work and household responsibilities, our sexual prowess isn't always on the front burner. Uncover your inner vixen who's full of spontaneous sensual ideas with these eight tips for driving him crazy. Don't worry, we won't tell him where you got your ideas from!

Leave an erotic note for him to find.
Pique his interest and have him deliciously anticipating your next encounter with some well placed erotic love notes. Tell him how much you love a certain position, describe in detail exactly what you enjoyed about a previous encounter or just tell him how much you can't wait to have him again.

Mix it up and do it in a different room.
Sometimes a little variety can easily be found just by mixing up a small aspect of your lovemaking. A change of scenery certainly fits the bill. Get creative with places you can try such as stairs, the bathtub or shower, a guest room or even the living room.

Instead of your typical movie night, pop in something a little more risque.
You know he'll be surprised as the opening credits start to roll when he sees this unexpected treat. What makes this idea even better is that you can customize it depending on your tastes. You can watch something from a sultry movie to his favorite "after-dark" flick.

Visit a lingerie store together and try things on for him to see.
Next time you're out driving and you know you have some time, take a detour and visit a lingerie shop. Try on all of your favorites and model them for him. You can also plan this ahead of time, but make it seem like it was an impromptu idea! If you're uncomfortable with the idea of being in public while doing this, you can do it at home, or some places will even let him sneak in the dressing room with you.

Blindfold him and then drive to a sex shop. Tell him he can pick anything he wants for you both to try.
Leave inhibitions behind and make a one-stop trip to your local adult store. Have fun looking things over and picking out something for each of you to try. Make it more interesting and give each person a spending a limit and a mission to find something for the other person.

Treat him to a naughty strip show.
Let your inner stripper out and give him the lap dance of his dreams. Really be the temptress and make a no touching policy - of course you can touch him all you want. For more striptease ideas, read our article Striptease 101.

Masturbate in front of your partner unexpectedly.
If you really want to live out a secret fantasy of his and drive him crazy with need, give him his own private peep show. The rules of the show - he can only watch until you say so. Even more fun, plan it so he thinks he's stumbled upon you pleasuring yourself.